I want to collect jokes.
Some fav’s:
- The people in Dubai don’t watch Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dabi Do!
- My boyfriend called me a pedophile today…I said “That’s a really big word for a 5 year old!”
- A man stormed up to his wife with a duck in his arms and said “See! This is the pig I’ve been fucking!” His wife said “That’s not a pig! It’s a duck you idiot!” The man replies “…I wasn’t talking to you!!”
Here’s one someone posted on facebook:
- 2 antenna’s got married. the ceremony was boring but the reception was awwwesome!!
From Sean:
- Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
…he didn’t have the guts too!
- A lady is knitting while driving.
A police officer drives along side of her and yells, “Pull over!”
She yells back, “No, cardigan!”
From Erica:
- (read this out loud) A man and a newt walk into a bar.
Tender says: what will you have?
Man says: I’ll have a big drink for me and a little drink for him.
Bartender says:why a little drink for him?
Man says: well, he’s my newt!
From: blogtitlehere
- A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
The barman refuses to serve him. “Why not,” asks the golf club.
“You’ll be driving later,” replies the bartender.
From fuckyeahfunnythings:
Rick Astley asked me if he could borrow my collection of Pixar films.
“Okay,” I said. ”You can have Toy Story, Cars and Finding Nemo but I’m never gonna give you Up.
From Laura’s Dad -
- How do u know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky? Anywhere else & it would be called the teethbrush!
Got any good ones for me??
